Pope Hires Author of Harry Potter To Rewrite the Bible

If this does not light your candle, nothing will. God tells us over and over again that His Words are pure Words. We are not to add or take away from Scripture.

The Vatican has hired JK Rowling, the author of Harry Potter to rewrite the Bible.

I copied and pasted this article as it was written.

The latest PR coup for Pope Francis has seen him hire famous and revered children’s author JK Rowling to rewrite the Bible.

It is hoped the author, most famous for her Harry Potter series, can make it more accessible and believable for a new generation of Catholics and Christians.

While the specifics of the rewrite are not yet known, it is believed Rowling is tasked with producing a compelling tale that young Catholics and Christians can engage with. Figures such as dementors and other popular creations may take the place of less realistic Biblical creatures such as unicorns and the leviathon.

“We are very happy Miss Rowling has agreed to the rewrite, we keenly await the first draft,” a Vatican insider told WWN.

Rowling’s selection has raised some eyebrows but the decision by Pope Francis to select the wildly popular author is mainly due to commercial concerns.

“The sales of the Jesus Christ action figure have dropped by over 200% in the last 10 years, we are in need of new, compelling and toy-friendly characters…like the dinosaur in Toy Story,” a source close to the Pope told WWN.

“Our revenue streams are shrinking so the more Hollywood-esque the better,” the source concluded.

Rowling has thus far remained tight lipped on her vision for the Bible and its merry band of characters but a number of Hollywood producers are in discussions to turn it into a movie.

In the last century many Christian leaders have offered revisions on the interpretations of many of the Bible’s passages but Rowling is expected to take a more drastic approach.

“Judas is probably going to wear a leather jacket and JK is toying with the idea of a nervous twitch or even an eye-patch. Also why have one book when can have more? She is thinking of splitting it up into 9, maybe 10 books” the author’s publicist shared with WWN.

I suppose many will agree with the Pope that Gods Word is out of date and needs to be rewritten. God help us  ……………….

I have since learned that this is a satirical article. I’m surprised as much as it has been broadcast that I have nor heard, especially Catholics up in arms. Ah, no, I guess I’m not surprised, to many God Word is not that important.

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10 responses to “Pope Hires Author of Harry Potter To Rewrite the Bible

  1. This is by far the most brazen assault on the Word of God yet. I thought the gender neutral NIV was the last straw – but it looks like the cup of iniquity is not yet full.

    How long O LORD – how long?

  2. More proof the Scarlet Harlot (Rev 17) is Romanism!

  3. Various people have checked into this, It is not true since the site referenced is Satirical and Whimsical website. Various sites thatvalidate info have found this is false.
    This is a hoax and its source is a satire website called “Waterford Whispers News” There is a disclaimer page on the site that said, “Waterford Whispers News is a fabricated satirical newspaper and comedy website published by Waterford Whispers News.”

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